Muffins Are NOT Ugly Cupcakes

I don’t remember eating cupcakes or muffins as a child. All I remember is I used to eat cakes. My older brother more than once reminded me of an incident that happened when I was a child.  I must have been around 6 years old at the time.  I used to go for ballet lessons between the age of 3 and 9, before moving to Ghana from Togo.  I know I don’t look like a ballerina now but I have dance moves that trace back to that era.  Agatha is the teacher’s name.  Lebanese lady, not too tall, sexy and definitely not skinny.  She had a J-Lo body which our older brothers made remarks that drew our attentions to. She used to host shows at the theatre where we performed in front of a large audience.  So one night before the show, as I walked through the theatre lobby with my family, heading back stage, my eyes spotted a pastry/coffee lounge with a glass counter.  I walked up to the counter, gazing at a piece of cake with a lot of admiration.  My mother shouted “va mi djo”, come and let’s go in Ewe.  That was the beginning of tantrum.  I said to her, without that cake, I am not going on stage and I put my foot down.  Little diva or what? She threatened me, she sweet talked me, but in the end, she had to buy the cake.  I enjoyed it very much and then went back stage.  Wondering back, I am really surprised she didn’t beat the hell out of me and threw me back stage.  Maybe she didn’t want my tears to mess up the make-up she applied on me for the big show.  Oh goodness, I hope I wasn’t the ballerina with the fat stomach that night.  These days with every bite are an increase in waistline.  I don’t remember being a cake lover though.  Maybe that night I had to kill the nervousness with something and that was my fix.  What kills my anxiety now? Hmmm….Ah!  I know! But I am not telling :p

I don’t think there were any other cake incidences worth mentioning from then until much later.  Any cake consumed in between did what it was supposed to do I guess.  To satisfy me and make me a fat kid.  Moving on swiftly from the subject fat, in summer 1998 I moved to Milton Keynes and in Autumn of that year, I got my first job at Woolworths.  Soon after, I left that store for a call center job with Merchants.  Oh Merchants!  Those days, if you are a teen and you work at Merchants, you are the “bee’s knees”.  I made some good friends whilst working there; Priyanka Lakhani, Claire Hamilton, Natalie Sabin, Marie-Estelle Nkrumah, Baaba Amoah, Cynthia Otchere, Amanda Archer…. And the list just goes on and on.  Thanks to Facebook, even if we are now continents apart, we are still friends.

Anyway! During one of my lunch breaks I went into Boots and made a stop at the food section and there I met my first muffin love, the Blueberry Muffin.  This is a photograph of the
Boots I always went to. It is sat right in the middle of the Central Milton Keynes Shopping Centre. I loved that store. Their Blueberry Muffin wasn’t the only thing that made me go back all the time though. That is where I developed
all my photographs’ negatives which evolved into digital printing from my memory card.   Considering the amount of photos I took, I was there every week!  They encouraged my loyalty when they introduced the Boots Advantage Cards.  I often used the points I earned from photo printing, health and beauty shopping on Blueberry Muffins.

I was a faithful lover until Weight Watchers got popular.  These people were everywhere I turned.  On TV, on the internet, in supermarkets, in magazines, in the gym, in the newspapers, and even in Boots!  They couldn’t just leave the Blueberry Muffin in its natural full fat state.  They touched it.  Can you believe that?  They messed with my lover.  They transformed him from the Boots brand to a Weight Watched Blueberry Muffin.  After that, my advantage points went towards other products but a Blueberry Muffin.

How do you transform this:

To this?

They tortured my baby and he changed.  He wasn’t that Blueberry Muffin anymore.  I never tried any more muffins after that.  And that is to date!   That might change when Frimpomaa makes some for me.  Let’s see!

Along the way, I still had cakes.  But only at special functions:  Birthdays, Weddings, etc…  There was Costco and there was Patisserie Valerie.  You haven’t had pastries and cakes until you have Patisserie Valerie pastries and cakes.  Oh my word!  As a matter of fact, after reading this blog, I suggest you go to Google and search for Patisserie Valerie images and just stare. Do nothing, but look at those images.  Ah!  They give that “See Me…Choose Me…Pick Me…Eat Me…Love Me” cycle.

My loved ones knew exactly where to go to buy me cakes.  On Monday, January 26^th 2009, my pastor, Ps. Suzanne Nti brought me a birthday present and it was a White Chocolate Cake from Patisserie Valerie and a bottle of perfume by Prada.  I remember her standing outside Milton Keynes Council where I worked at the time with these kind, thoughtful and extremely generous presents.  That woman is amazing!  She is so good to me.  We used to go to the gym together.  Can you believe that?  I work out for 10 minutes and I am dropping dead.  An hour later, she looks like the game is only just beginning.  She has four adult children with a body of a 24 year old lady.  Not just any 24 year old.  Beyonce at 24 is what I am referring to.

On the same day, I got a surprise delivery at work.  The delivery man was walking towards my desk with a package saying Beverly Hills Bakery.  It was totally new to me.  What is Beverly Hills Bakery?  Well…  I said a big thank you and reached out for my gift.  On the delivery note was “Happy Birthday V xoxoxox”  I grin cheek to cheek.  It is my friend Erin Odugbesan.  We have a “V” inside joke going.  She sent me a gift!!!  I open it and what do I find?  Cup Cakes.  Lots of them! Beautifully decorated and are you wondering how it tasted?  Wait for it……. HEAVENLY!!!!!!

“This Nigerian girl has opened my eyes”.  That was my first time eating cupcakes.  I told you before then, a cake was just a cake. Ei! “Yehowa!” Hmmm….  They left me speechless.

Now, apart from thinking Patisserie Valerie was the goddess of cakes, I still believed in the power of Blueberry Muffins and now Cup Cakes by Beverly Hills Bakery.

As much as she is cute, pretty, attractive, tasty, I won’t support her bullying muffins.  Muffins Are NOT Ugly Cupcakes!  I have not heard of good muffins being sold anywhere in Accra and I have given Frimpomaa the task to make me some Blueberry Muffins to taste.  She said she will let me know when Koala Supermarket has some fresh blueberries which she can use.  I am patiently waiting.  Until I am proved otherwise, I will not accept that muffins are just ugly cupcakes.  No way!  That was once my true love.  What are you talking about?  Come back soon for the Blueberry Muffin by Frimpomaa review.  That might be the introduction of something new/different for all of you to order.

She told me that the Cherry Liqueur Cupcakes she made for my birthday in January 2010 was her best seller.  “You made my Cherry Liqueur Cupcakes very popular”.  Those were her words and not mine!  That was my first time eating her cakes and that was my first time saying hi to her.  She was delivering them at Michel Angelo Italian Restaurant where me and my friends were having dinner.  Her sister, Maadee Darko-Mensah ordered them for me as my birthday present.  Good Lord!  I have amazing friends.  They always get me the finest things.  I am still waiting for the day someone will send a new top of the range Cherry Red Jaguar XJ my way. (Hint! Hint!)

How did people know that I had Cherry Liqueur Cupcakes on my birthday?  The power of Facebook!  This picture was posted on this powerful tool that travelled miles into the taste buds of viewers.

Since those cupcakes, every other cupcake I have enjoyed in Ghana are from her, Marmette and Maataa.  I bet you are wondering who these women I keep talking about are.  Well well well! I have a nice surprise for you. Below is a picture of all three of them! he he he.

So now you can put a face to the names.  Dont you like that?  I wonder how they feel about that! 🙂  I love my cake ladies though. They do an amazing job.  I really dont know how they do it but they do it and they do it well!

Here is a photo of Maataa’s cupcake.

Then we have a photo of Marmette’s cupcake.

And finally a photo of Frimpomaa’s cupcake.

These are not photos of cupcakes they made but they are photos of cupcakes they made and I enjoyed eating!

“See Me…Choose Me…Pick Me…Eat Me…Love Me”

Ha ha ha!